If You Give a Blogger Three Hours

If you give a blogger three hours they will probably go to Starbucks.

Once they are at Starbucks they will take out their laptop, plug it in and order some coffee.

When you give them the coffee they'll realize they want a butter croissant to go with it.

Once they've eaten the butter croissant they'll open a window to start a new post. After writing an intro they will realize that they don't remember the deadline.

They will open their email to check the deadline and see other emails. After checking rug prices on a World Market sale, deleting all the junk emails (how did they let it get that bad?), and remembering that they need to invoice for another job (and logging into another tab to send the invoice) they will finally find that deadline.

Two H2 headings later they will realize that they need a specific image for the post. They will go into their picture folder and start searching for it. While searching for the image in question they will realize that there are a lot of extra photos that are blurry and should be deleted. They will start deleting blurry photos and those that are no longer needed.

And if they start deleting photos you better believe that they are going to rename the ones that survive. Once the photos are renamed they will probably create new folders to file them in. With neat file folders of pictures they will realize that they never found the original picture they were looking for.

There goes a good 30 minutes organizing pictures. Photo Credit: Nasreen Stump

Maybe it was posted to Facebook? So off to Facebook the blogger goes. Once on Facebook they are reminded that it is Virtual BFF's birthday so they write a quick post on their page. Of course this post needs a funny meme, after searching Google and not finding one that speaks to them they open up Canva. Once in Canva they create the perfect birthday meme and remember that they needed to post Twitter party questions in a network Facebook group. They quickly create questions and images and post them in the group. Then since there is no time like the present they pop over into MeetEdgar to program those questions. While in MeetEdgar they'll remember that they had a question about functionality and they'll go back to their email to contact Support.

DING! A new opportunity has been matched with them in their email inbox so the blogger pops over into that influencer network's site to apply. Social links are needed so they pop onto Twitter (why is #EpicKittenFail trending? Explore.), check out Instagram (3 other people are at a local CVB meeting today, why didn't they know about it?), and head to their FB page (4 new messages- 2 unsolicited out of country link requests, 1 will you post this for the karma PR rep friend one, and 1 brand message asking to use video they made without additional compensation on their site). The blogger remembers that they were originally looking for the image that they needed for the post they started writing two hours ago.

The blogger finds the photo on Facebook- finally. And if they find the image on Facebook they'll download it and pop into PicMonkey to brighten and crop it. Into the post it goes. This is when they realize that they are missing a link that they need to direct people to another article. After 3 Facebook messages they will realize that it hasn't been published yet. DING! A Facebook message from someone else asking to be added to a campaign Google Doc. After adding them the blogger remembers that they also need to put up a reminder post about this campaign in the network group.

PicMonkey- another great time killer. 

The blogger will spend 10 minutes carefully crafting a "Please Help Out" post that both acknowledges that they appreciate everyone's help but also reminds everyone that they should be helping more. At this point the blogger needs a bathroom break. After finding someone to watch their laptop for a minute the blogger makes it to the bathroom. They check their cell phone and realize that they  only have 7 minutes left before they need to leave.

The blogger frantically rereads their "Please Help Out" post and edits it for passive-aggressive tendencies because they really do love and appreciate everyone. After posting it they respond to people's offers of help with Thank you's, You're Awesome's and Hell Yeah's.

They hit save on the blog post that was never finished and shut down their laptop. Chances are that because they didn't finish they'll ask for another three hours at Starbucks and they'll probably stay for four.


The Positive Side of Puke

I thought I heard my four year old yelling over the sound of the baby crying in his car seat. Yelling that I'd be there in one minute I started running the water to warm it for a bottle. We'd been stuck in the car waiting to turn onto our road for more than 15 minutes due to road work and I'd been questioning my morning timing- maybe if I hadn't stopped for a latte, maybe if we hadn't brought food by the station for my husband, maybe if I had gone the back way I wouldn't be dealing with this. The baby was cranky and hungry. The four year old had been pale and quiet and immediately took off into the bathroom when we got home.

Walking into the bathroom I saw her puking off to the side of the toilet on the floor. And I laughed. I asked her if she was ok and I laughed. I handed her the trash can to puke into and I laughed. I put her hair up on top of her head and I laughed. The room filled with the smell of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and I laughed. I laughed because four kids in sometimes you just have to look on the positive side of things.

Poor kiddo. While puking she was yelling "Take my picture" because she wanted to show her big sister that she had "throwed up" when she got home from school.

Thank God this didn't happen five minutes earlier while we were trapped in the car waiting for a TXDOT worker to spin the sign from STOP to SLOW. Forget questioning the morning- our timing had been perfect for this. If we had gotten home earlier she would have been off in the playroom somewhere puking when the urge hit. Instead she was in the bathroom and cleanup was as easy as it could be for vomit. (I have a strong gag reflex for smells and cleaning up puke is always touch and go as the chance that I may puke also is ever present.)

I ran back to the kitchen, got the baby his bottle and started thinking. I didn't used to be this way. I always had trouble seeing the positive in things. I was easily irritated with people, frustrated and quick to drop a big sigh and think "Ugh it's one of those days." And I can't exactly pinpoint the change that took place or when but I became one of those people who gets cut off and thinks "They probably have a lot on their mind,", smiles at people because everyone needs some positivity and instead of yelling at the kids immediately tries to find the reason behind things (apparently the crayon all over the floor in the front hall was because my 4 year old thought that if she drew a treasure map that treasure would appear near the x).

While I can't pinpoint exactly when I made the change I know that it was inspired by someone in my life from years ago who no matter what thought that the world was against them. A canceled dinner meant that friends were probably plotting to get together without them instead, a quick question text was analyzed to the point of reading in subtext that never existed, and work issues were struggles. Everything and anything was an example of how difficult it was to be them. I remember thinking to myself "Man that is no way to live" and I started to see things differently. Some days I have trouble recognizing the overly positive person I've become from my younger self but I am so glad that it happened. I still have bad days, there is still injustice in the world but my own personal framework allows me to process everything better.

I reentered the bathroom. She was sitting on the toilet clutching the trash can. "I done throwing up. I feel better now." She immediately blossomed back into her chatty self. I gave her a hug and vowed never to eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch again.