Dear Mom Who is Having Trouble Breastfeeding-

Dear Mom Who is Having Trouble Breastfeeding-

I see your pain and guilt. You ask for advice. How can you succeed? You admit that you feel like a failure, you feel like your not producing, you feel like the baby isn't getting enough. Your nipples are sore to the point where you want to walk around topless so that nothing touches them but then there is a breeze and you want to shriek.

You've tried lactation consultants and Youtube and doctors and nothing seems to be working. Half of your friends rave about breast shields and the other half warn you that breast shields can be a slippery slope and to only try them as a last resort.

So as your last resort you ask everyone you know, you post in online mom groups, you ask questions on breastfeeding forums and all you want to hear is: No matter what happens you are a good mom. You will try your hardest and if it doesn't work out for you you will feed your baby in a way that works for your family, be it formula or donor milk. I am here to tell you that. It will all be okay. I've been there. You are a good mom. You will try your hardest and if breastfeeding doesn't work out for you you will find a way to care for your baby and give him or her the nutrition they need.

With my first he came 5 weeks early. By the time I saw him in the NICU he had already been given a bottle without my permission. He was there for almost a week. I was a mess, who goes home from the hospital without a baby? It was surreal. I got a hospital grade pump and I just didn't get anything. I tried to breastfeed him and he screamed his head off. I got a case of raging mastitis that hospitalized me. The doctor's wanted him on a special high calorie formula and I felt like a double failure because I couldn't breast feed him and because of how expensive it was.

With my second she took to breastfeeding but had trachial malachia (a little flap in her throat) that caused her to chug and feed and then projectile vomit up 3/4 of what she ate. I couldn't keep up with her. I pumped, I breastfed and I supplemented with formula.

And then my third came and all was well. She fed beautifully, when I pumped I yielded actual results and my boss allowed me to bring her to work with me. It was a little slow at the start and a friend offered donor milk which I took and we rounded the initial hump. I finally made it to my one year goal.
So for new worried moms:

1- See a lactation consultant. You owe it to yourself and your baby to try this route. Moms have such a habit of feeling guilty. Seek help from a professional and if you still aren't able to after more time you'll know you gave it your all. If you can't afford a lactation consultant (which a lot of insurance companies cover) go to a local La Leche league meeting.

2- Try not to stress. It sounds impossible, after all you're worried about feeding your baby but stress can interfere with milk production.

3- Drink lots of water. Tons. Buckets. I was horrible at this but it really helps to keep yourself hydrated.

4- Look into galactogogues (foods that increase breast milk production). There are supplements out there, let your friends bring you lactation cookies, eat lots of oatmeal, work fenugreek into your diet and sip tea.

5- If you feel like you have to supplement discuss it with a lactation consultant and if it eases your stress DO IT. I found that after the first time I supplemented my middle daughter I had my most successful pumping session. I felt like there was a weight off my shoulders. In the end it made me more committed to breast feeding because I saw that I could produce.

6- Try a manual pump. Electric pumps seem convenient but sometimes a good manual pump can mimic a baby better and since they are small and portable realistically it will be what your reach for to bring with you the first time you're going to be without baby during a feeding time. I LOVED my Avent manual pump. It was small and I could pack it, breast milk bags, and an ice pack in a little Built lunch sack when I traveled.

7- Using a manual pump for a minute before you latch on your little can help start the flow stronger, especially for lazy little sucklers.

8- Get out. Don't fall into the shame spiral if you decide to use formula. I remember panicking at the thought of going to baby yoga and having to make a bottle in front of all the other breastfeeding moms but don't isolate yourself. In the end moms support other moms and getting out and interacting with other moms will help with stress.

9- Accept help. Let friends come over to sit with baby while you try to pump more or while you take a bath and relax. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby!

Best of luck to you. You can do it!


Residence Hall Linens Multi-Blogger Giveaway

I'm excited to have been asked to participate in a multi-blogger giveaway by , Tara of Dandy Giveaway. My 9 year old made his Christmas list the other day. At the top of the list- a tuxedo, spray to make his pillow smell good, and 2 packs of underwear. What can I say, the kid is both practical and classy. It feels like a moment ago he was my tiny little preemie and now he's wants a tuxedo. Tomorrow it will be time for college. Maybe I'll just buy his linens now! Know a soon to be college-bound teen- now they can find everything they need all in one stop. Online at Residence Hall Linens! This web store seriously has everything a college student needs so they can focus on the truly important things... like studying. :) Here are just a few of the great looks: 383453_287129441375920_12215886_n   561774_286615438093987_1252681515_n   578125_286606721428192_289871120_n   So if you have a Senior in high school at your house or even one that's about to head off to heading off for winter semester then you now know to direct them to RHL. The linens are also always perfect for home use, too. ;) I'm so every excited to be working with these great blogs to bring you the following fantastically dandy prize! Cori's Cozy CornerIt's Just Me (an ordinary blog), It Mom, Leafy Not Beefy, Merlot Mommy, Me and My Handful, Better in Bulk, Chaos To Creativity, Ramblingstump, Living Through Motherhood, Fun Reviews And Giveaways, STL Motherhood, NYCitified, and Peonies & Poppyseeds!

And now for the giveaway...

One very lucky winner is going to receive a Student Starter Pack from Residence Hall Linens!

PKG_STRT3 6PC_TOW_COT_LLC_THML BED_QX_THML STRT_QX_THML   *Prize package is a $188 value and includes the following:
  • 2 extra-long fitted sheets
  • 2 extra-long flat sheets
  • 2 standard pillow cases
  • 1 extra-fluffy pillow
  • 1 extra-long reversible comforter
  • 1 extra-long quilted mattress pad
  • 2 all-cotton bath towels
  • 2 matching cotton hand towels
  • 2 matching cotton wash cloths
  • 1 extra-long thermal cotton blanket
  • 1 bedside buddy
*Winner's choice on color combination. (Enter on the Rafflecopter below the rules.) RULES: *This giveaway is open to US entries only. *Winner is subject to eligibility verification. *The winner of this giveaway will be drawn no later than the evening of December 16th and will be emailed. If the winner does not respond within 48 hours, a new winner will be drawn. *This multi blogger giveaway was sponsored by Residence Hall Linens, but all opinions are strictly my own.   a Rafflecopter giveaway


Cleaning for the Cure: How to Raise Childhood Cancer Research Funds by Having a Spotless Home

As we celebrate the start of the holiday season I find that there is a lot to be thankful for this year. The girls are happy and healthy, we are making new friends and settling in in Texas, and I actually voluntarily started listening to Christmas carols before Thanksgiving (gasp).

Part of our new life in Texas has been adjusting to new stores (loving HEB), new experiences (Bucce's), and new brands. Walking through our local Walmart we're seeing brands we've never heard of before like Cloralex®, Ensueño®, Pinalen® and Pinol® (all part of AlEn USA). These brands are household names here in Texas and are quickly spreading across the country. As a crazy couponer I brought some Ensueño® Baby home on a great deal and loved the light powder scent it gave to the girls clothes. And then while researching their cleaners online I learned about their local (Houston) roots and philanthropic side.

Thanks to foundations like Curing Children's Cancer Fund (CCCF) and to brands like Cloralex®, Ensueño®, Pinalen® and Pinol® who created the campaign "Clean to Cure™” $25,000 was raised and donated to support some of the country’s leading pediatric cancer researchers.

 My friends know that I would rather read about cleaning on Pinterest than actually clean but I may have to work on that since everytime I cleaned I'd be "cleaning for the cure". Now every time the kids tip over a cup of juice, stain their clothes or draw on the wall and I clean it up I know I'm supporting a company that donated $25,000 to children's cancer research.

* Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. I will be receiving some of the listed cleaning products to try out. My opinions are my own.


Parenting Wins You Won't See on Pinterest

I could post pictures of the elaborate cupcakes I created for my daughter's birthday, the quilt I sewed for a friend's baby, or the doll diapers we made for the girls' baby dolls- but some of the most useful "parenting tips" are wins you won't see on Pinterest. They sure did make life easier though.

diy crib, make your own crib, ways for kids to sleep, mattress on floor
By the 3rd kid in, the girls are wearing "boy" clothes, the boys are wearing pink diapers, and you're napping on the floor just to get some rest. 
The perfect nursery? It's a distant dream.

 I'm pretty sure this is not what Pinterest had in mind when they were talking about DIY dog beds but I'm not sweating it. The major question is why does the slightest noise make her run to sleep in our bed but the dog can muscle her out without waking her? 

toddler bungee cords, toddler chair,
When you don't have your sewing machine handy to whip out a quick child buckle seat that will fit on most chairs, go primitive with a stick and some bungee cords. She thought it was hilarious and we kept her away from the campfire. 

Ahh, the elusive bedtime dance. Does a routine matter? Is the room the right temperature? Shh, no noise or should there be some background noise? And why the heck won't they GO TO SLEEP! I finally found a fix that worked for us.

potty training, potty training tips, potty training rewards
What can I say? I got tired of potty charts, donuts, and stickers. Sharpies are cheap and easy to carry.

hiding veggies in food, things to do with beets, beet recipes,

Having trouble with vegetables? Hide them in "cupcakes". I fed them these for breakfast on days that I needed a few minutes of quiet. I find that days where I start with five minutes of alone coffee time go smoother.

how to clean legos, sanitizing toys, getting rid of germs, cleaning toys after poop in the tub

My sanity improved a bit when I figured out a quick way to clean up toys after snot nosed children and their germs had their way with them. This is also great for when poop happens in the bath tub. What, that's never happened to you? It will. And it will be gross.

And my personal favorite time saving discovery: 

bathtime, popsicle cleanup, messy popsicles

Yup. This idea struck me one day and it is still one of the best ways to buy 30 minutes of quiet. 

What parenting tricks help you keep your marbles? 



Life happened over these past few months. In a BIG way. We are now in San Antonio, Texas. (WOW!). This is a huge change from Vermont and I didn't handle the blog transition very well (translation: not at all). We knew we were moving awhile before we could tell anyone and quietly put our house on the market. It sold very quickly. Needing to keep our jobs up until we left, I panicked and stopped blogging lest I reveal our secret.

Then some kind of twisted shame spiral happened where I felt so bad about not writing and keeping up the blog that I actually had trouble coming back to it. Combined with the fact that the kids are home all day everyday I wasn't very motivated.

I've conquered that. My husband starts a job down here tomorrow. Everything is falling into place. So- I'm back!

I'll get back to frequent postings and reenter the land of the blogging.

Thanks to anyone who stuck around!


Father's Day- Tell it Like it Is

I love Facebook on Father's Day. It's all lovey dovey thanks for being the best Father ever and thank you husband for always running when the baby cried. I call shenanigans! Endless griping followed up by father of the year posts just isn't true. You don't need to paint a rosy picture. Tell it like it is.

To my father: 

Thank you for still going through the drive thru at McDonalds to buy me french fries after I puked on you while sitting on your shoulders in line inside. It took me years to not cringe at this story because I felt bad for still demanding fries after puking. I thought it made me a brat but now that I have kids I understand that it just made me your average two year old.

I also apologize for squeezing that cool glass thing that bubbled up liquid when you held it too hard and then hiding it under a giant pile of printer paper when it broke. I don't know why I was scared to tell you but at the time it felt like a giant issue.

Thank you for supporting me when my first marriage broke up and telling me that I needed to do what was right for me. It was a really hard decision and your opinion was one of my biggest concerns.

Thank you for spoiling the crap out of my kids. I love that they've come to equate you with allowance. One less thing for me to do.

Thank you for letting us leave the kids with you this weekend so that we could go away. The time was desperately needed, as was the sleep (of which I know you're not getting any).

And the only non-thank you...... seriously, they didn't realize the play phone made noise. Did you have to replace the batteries on it when they visited?

To My Father-in-Law:

Thank you for raising my husband to be an amazing man.

Thank you for not judging me when I was going stir crazy on bed rest. Thank you for instead saying, "You want to go out for brunch and go baby shopping? Sitting in a chair is like bed rest right?"

Thank you for always doing the dishes when I cook and making sure our yard looks presentable since we really could care less.

And thank you for buying the girls noisy toys and buying my son knock knock joke books. You knew it would drive me crazy and you did it anyways. Then you shrugged your shoulders and said "That's what grandpa's do." And the kids love you for it.  

To My Husband:

Thank you for getting up with the 1 year old every morning so that I can sleep. I've had some health issues and the ability to sleep the extra hour every morning really makes a difference in how my day goes.

Thank you for allowing my then 3 year old son to enter your life with no questions and showing absolutely no difference in love for him and the two daughters we had later. He thinks the world of you and although I am not impressed by the farting and belching that you have taught him I appreciate your willingness to teach.

I love that our daughter wanted to be you for Halloween and shares the same salty demeanor in the morning pre-juice that you do pre-coffee.

Thank you for randomly smacking my ass and making lewd comments. I've pushed out three babies and I like to feel wanted in an "authentic" not because I have to romantic way.

Thank you for your creative baby-proofing. Not every man knows how to paracord cabinets shut after the baby figures out child locks. And I'm sure you'll find a solution for the stool/door thing soon.

You also really like to let the kids dress themselves. This sometimes peeves me when I am the one heading out with them and they are half in ski gear, half in snorkel outfits. However, it does result in some great photo ops and it makes me laugh.

And of course you may lead the kids into questionable directions nutritionally but you're teaching them life skills right?

In the end one of the reasons I love you the most is how much like my own father you are. You are fiercely protective of your daughters, you have a strange sense of humor, you are a bit of a nerd, and you love your wife. And this Father's Day I love you both. Not only the things you do right but for all of the funny things you've taught me over the years by not following the path of least resistance.


Complicated Relationship with Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day. According to Facebook and Pinterest I should be basking in the glow of my angelic children enjoying breakfast in bed that they've made assisted by a bumbling and well-meaning husband. Flowers, sticky kisses, and handprint cards are par for the course in this fantasy world. Instead, I will get up, drink coffee, shower, and head into work. Before cursing my employer please know- this was my decision.

You see, I have a complicated relationship with Mother's Day. Growing up we did the traditional "queen for a day" route for my mom. My dad would help us pick out a gift. We'd sign a sappy card and deliver breakfast on a tray. When I had my son I had visions of this same formula being a part of my Sunday in May annually. Except it wasn't. You see I married a man who was a great father but not a great husband (for me).  We separated and due to my job being heavily travel and him living with his parents custody was established primarily with him. Some Mother's Days after that I'd be elated to get a gift in the mail and a phone call. Other Mother's Days I'd be crying in my studio apartment because I hadn't heard from him and how could I be a mother without my child? I wanted to lift him up and get those sticky kisses that other moms got so freely.

I'm happily remarried now and that little boy is a big nine year old who serenaded me on the phone today with "Happy Mother's Day" set to the tune of Happy Birthday. He will also spend today celebrating his stepmother who I appreciate more than she will ever know for providing a comforting maternal figure in his daily life. My two little girls will stop by with their dad and grandpa later to say hi and I will get wet kisses (the baby thinks kiss means lick). But still Mother's Day is not an idyllic holiday. There are those who have lost mothers, women struggling to become pregnant, mothers who have lost babies or grown children, and mothers who don't have their children with them.

Today as I go into my zen place and scoop coffee at the roaster's I will reflect on all the women who have made me who I am today. One is my amazing mother, one was my husband's mother who I never met but who made him the man he is today, and then there are so many others- bosses, teacher's, friends' moms, and  friends who are new moms. The love that we show each other shapes the next generation. Happy Mother's Day, no matter how complicated it may be.


Coconut Krispie Baked Tofu

This will be a short sweet and to the point blog. I'm sure you've all had a night swallowed up by the unexpected! I put my adorable naked 10 month old into her playpen (where she sleeps) to grab a Snappi for her diaper. A minute later on my return I realized she had peed while standing up through the mesh and was both sitting in it and licking the mesh. Ughh. This resulted in a bath, her going to bed in the crib, and the toddler in our bed.

A trip to Costco this weekend yielded a multipack of tofu. Price-wise it was a great deal on three to four meals worth of protein. Inspired by a recipe on Cara's Cravings, I jumped off from that point and created a twist that fit my pantry.

Coconut Krispie Baked Tofu
Serves 4

1 lb firm tofu
2 egg whites
3/4 cup Rice Krispies
1/3 cup coconut
cooking spray

1/4 cup soy sauce
3 TBS maple syrup for sauce

1. Preheat oven to 425. Set up a cookie rack on top of a cookie sheet and spray it with cooking spray. Pour Rice Krispies and coconut into the food processor and pulse until the size of breadcrumbs. Pour onto a plate.

2. Remove tofu from liquid and pat dry on a paper towel. Mine came in four squares which I halved horizontally and then cut diagonally to create 4 triangles per square. (16 total).

3. Crack the egg whites onto a plate and dip the tofu into it. Make sure to egg both sides. It is easiest to egg a few at a time, drop them onto the coconut Krispie plate and then use your fingers to cover them completely with coconut. Then rinse your fingers and start again. Put the tofu onto the cookie rack.

4. Bake for 5 minutes, turn down the heat to 400 and bake for an additional 10.

5. Serve with dipping sauce (mix together soy sauce and maple) if desired. I also love to saute fresh spinach and serve it on the side.


Tortillas & Taco Casserole

I love tortillas. I bake my own bread and am trying to eliminate any packaged foods I do buy and tortillas are one of them. So, for Christmas this year I asked for a tortilla press. Thus far it has been heavily used! Homemade tortillas tend to come out a little thicker and smaller than store bought ones so I've turned to taco casserole as a topping. By baking everything together with cheese it is easier to fill the tortillas with and less messy.

Making tortillas is actually really easy and not as intimidating as it sounds. I highly recommend a tortilla press! Rolling them out is not easy because the dough is very elastic. Next, you'll need to buy some lard. Some grocers keep it in the freezer near the butter and some put it on the shelves near the Crisco. I'm a fan of the Snowcap brand. Lard may sound extremely unhealthy but you're only using a tablespoon and it eliminates the need for any oil to cook them in.

(Makes 12-16)

2 cups flour
3/4 cups water
1 tbsp lard
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder

Taco Casserole
(Serves 4)

1 pound ground beef
1 can light kidney beans (15.5 oz)
1/2 cup shredded cheese of your choice
1 avocado
a little bit of chopped lettuce if desired
1 tbsp cumin
1 tsp onion powder
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp cayenne

I make the taco casserole first. In a pan brown the ground beef.  Once browned add the cumin, onion powder, salt, oregano, bay leaf, and cayenne. Stir to incorporate everything evenly. Pour the ground beef (pull the bay leaf out) into a casserole dish and spread to cover the bottom. Next, drain the can of beans and toss them into the same pan. I like to heat them up and squash the beans a little. Once the beans are warm, dump them into the casserole on top of the beef. Top with the cheese. Dice the avocado and toss that on top. Chop some lettuce and set aside. Put the casserole into the oven at 350 for 10 minutes to melt all the cheese and keep it warm.

And now tortillas:

In a mixer, blend the flour, salt, baking powder and lard. The lard will crumble into the dough. Slowly add the water and mix until the dough is smooth.

Roll the dough into small balls the size of a large marshmallow (or a Barbie head). It's easiest to roll them in flour. I use a $1 serving plate from the Dollar Store so that I don't have to clean the counter after.

I have the toddler help me put the ready to go tortillas on another serving plate.

Put a pan on the stove with the heat on low-medium. Next, put a piece of plastic wrap on both sides of the tortilla press. Place on of the dough balls on the bottom and press!

You want to peel the plastic gently off of the tortilla. Put it in the waiting pan. It takes less than 2 minutes per side to cook the tortillas.

Take out the taco casserole and assemble your tortillas. Top with the chopped lettuce and sour cream if desired. Enjoy! (We also spread leftover tortillas with Nutella & chopped bananas for a great toddler breakfast.)


Sanitizing Toys after Sickness

The dog wasn't sick, he was just extremely sympathetic.

The plague has finally left our household. I was a casualty, struck down eating popsicles and drinking gingerale for days. Once my cement-filled head could process complex thoughts and my hands were no longer permanently needed to hold a snot filled tissue my first deep thought was: this cannot happen again. It wasn't "cleaning" that needed to take place in our house it was sanitizing. Hard core sanitizing. If those germs thought they were going to hang out on a piece of plastic bacon and hitch a ride into the babies mouth the next time she felt like gnawing on something - they were wrong. We were not going on this roller coaster ride of fun again.

One roll of Dollar Store shelf liner does the trick.

I separated the toys between two laundry baskets. Those that could be washed went in one and those that couldn't went in another. I've learned over the years that soaking toys in bleach solution sanitizes them but also can penetrate tiny little holes you didn't know existed in play food and leave bits of water behind. I want to sanitize the toys not leave small stores of bleach water for the kids to find so I devised a solution that works for us and I hope for you too!

I take some plastic mesh cabinet/drawer liner from the dollar store and cut it to fit my dishwasher. Press it down over the tiny little sticky up-y things in the dishwasher. The holes will help hold it into place. Pour all the little toys that would have fallen through onto it. Add bleach where you would have put soap in the dishwasher and splash a little extra in the bottom. Run the dishwasher. Make sure you adjust the heat setting if you have "meltables" in the mix. While the dishwasher runs wipe down all of the other toys with bleach wipes. I also wipe down the outside of books (which the baby likes to "eat") and our sofas (hooray for leather). When the dishwasher is done running I dump all of the toys from it into a freshly bleach-wiped laundry basket. They usually don't dry completely during the cycle so I can shake them around in the laundry basket near our woodstove to finish them off.

And hopefully we won't see the plague again until next year.